I’m starting a new blog related to my breast cancer journey. If you’re interested in following me in this new phase of my life, you can find me here:
Cancer by Chance. Warrior by Choice.
I promise not to be depressing. Most of the time. If anything, I’m trying to find the funny in cancer (trust me, there’s funny… you just have to make it funny). I actually almost named my new blog “My Boobies are Trying to Kill Me” or “Real Boobs are just Overrated Serial Killers.”
I’ve also changed my overall display name from This Child’s Mom to Warrior by Choice, mostly because I’m going to open up this new blog to close family and friends, and I’d rather them not be led to this former blog by searching that display name if they see it in the corner. So if you see a comment on one of your blogs from “Warrior by Choice,” that’s still me. 🙂
My This Child’s Mom blog is just so much more private for me. It’s so much harder to get people to understand and fully appreciate the pain and isolation of miscarriage than it is cancer diagnosis and treatment – two totally different but equally hard things, but people don’t write off cancer the way they unknowingly, insensitively write off miscarriage (“you’ll have another”…”you lost it early, so it’s ok”…and so on — vs. “CANCER?! What can I do?!!”) And something in me really wants to be heard and understood by my close friends and family, after everything I’ve been through these past few years. Maybe because this new journey might break me if not. I can’t break. I won’t.
I may still post here occasionally. Like I said, this journey carries with it significant fertility risks. Having more children is something I still want, and miscarriage and infertility are very close to my heart…for myself and for many dear friends whom I know are still struggling.
Lots of love, and best wishes to you all. Thanks for your unconditional support and love over the past 3+ years.
So….a completely unexpected update on my life:
I was diagnosed with stage IIA breast cancer on August 2, and just started chemo treatments on September 9. At first I had a handle on things and even had a peace about my diagnosis, but now that I’ve started treatments, things are getting hard. Impossible, really.
This is a tough battle, and just as much a fight for your mind and heart as your body. It’s something I’m realizing is requiring more inner strength than I’ve ever exerted before. Fortunately, God has sent us overflowing love from so many people in our life, friends and family from all over, some we haven’t even seen in years. I’m floored by it, and it has helped more than anything.
This diagnosis, because it involves chemo treatment, also means our fertility is at risk. We opted not to freeze my eggs, as we didn’t feel God was leading us do to so. We did opt to have a Zoladex shot every month during my chemo to hopefully preserve my eggs. What that shot does is essentially put you in menopause during your treatment. The chances of regaining your fertility after treatments are completed, with this shot, are apparently 50/50, though I’ve heard of better outcomes than that. Chemo would have destroyed my eggs most likely, so this was the only option. We have a peace about it, but it is still hard. We were planning to start trying for another baby by the end of this year, originally. Now, if all goes well and we are still fertile when this is over, we will be allowed to start trying again around spring 2018. It is what it is, and right now, I haven’t been dwelling on the fertility aspect of this journey because everything else has been so difficult.
I’m sure I’ll be posting more, and probably beginning to use this blog as an outlet for this journey, but for now, that’s all.
In other news, Luke is two years old now and just darling. We love him so.