**Warning: Pregnancy update.**
11 days to go and I am so ready. I’m not gonna complain, I’m actually one of those rare 9-months-pregnant ladies who isn’t really uncomfortable and desperate to get the baby out. I just keep doing things to get the house, my job, my life, ready…and I’m tired of doing! I’m on the cusp of the next chapter of my life, virtually 99% there, and I’m ready for it to begin. I want Luke here. I’m ready to be a mommy.
J says I should just rest, especially if I say I’m “tired of doing” constantly. But I can’t! I literally can’t. It’s like it’s ingrained in me to keep going. If I sit still I will see something else that needs to be done, or start thinking about things I can’t control (labor, delivery, family visiting…ahhh!). So I am still going. I told J that I just want an excuse to stop (although all I really mean by that is, I want labor to start), but he always responds, “you have one! you’re pregnant! rest!”. If he only knew what it felt like to be a momma. I think that’s what it is. It’s nesting, for sure, but it’s being a momma. I’ll never stop doing — for now, that means getting ready for our Luke. Soon, it will mean doing anything and everything in my power to protect Luke. It just is what it is. I have morphed into a mommy, and I’m loving it.
I think it just bugs me that everything else in life you can plan, you can predict…or at least you can have an idea of when something will probably happen. But this, this is out of my control (sounds familiar… just about everything in ttc and pregnancy is out of our control right?!). I can’t plan when Luke’s going to arrive. He could show up tomorrow, he could show up in 3 more weeks. So I am doing everything “just in case” he arrives tomorrow. Every day I operate like that. And by the end of each day I’m like, “let’s get this show on the road, already!” The docs think that Luke won’t be overdue. Of course they can never really tell, but at my 37 week appt (a week and 1/2 ago) I was dialated 2 cm already, and he’s been head down and very low since 35 weeks. So we’ll see! They did say that they really don’t want me to go later than a week past due, so it sounds like regardless, Luke will be here by the 23rd or 24th.
My oldest sister’s wedding anniversary is the 8th, J’s sister’s birthday is the 11th, my little brother’s birthday is the 13th, of course our wedding anniversary is his due date the 14th, and J’s dad’s birthday is the 19th. So I think there’s a chance Luke will be sharing a birthday or celebration with someone in the family!
I’ve been teary lately. Not sad teary, but wistful, sentimental teary. I honestly have been so far removed from what happened last year because of everything that’s going on now, so much that I haven’t thought of it much these past couple of months. But I’ve noticed that now that we’re thisclose to Luke’s arrival, I can’t help but think about William. Or just the realization that this is finally happening, and wondering what it would have been like if William had made it this far. I try not to think about it too much, because I don’t think it’s fair to my sweet Luke. But it makes me sentimental. And it makes me love both my boys that much more.
My sister found out this week that she’s having a boy. I am so excited for her, but also for my Luke! A boy first cousin close in age! Things seem to be going well with her, as well as my sister-in-law (although my sister-in-law has nausea so bad that she had to be admitted to the hospital this week for an IV with fluids! The baby is okay, though, so that’s what matters, but bless her heart she’s having a rough time). They are having a girl. So I will have a new nephew AND a new niece this December! It’s so much fun being an aunt, but I am just so thrilled for my Luke that he will have a boy cousin so close in age, and one that doesn’t live too far away (2 hours vs. the 10 hrs. it takes to get to visit my oldest sister’s kids!).
Okay, that’s a long enough update for now. Here’s some pictures!
Thinking of everyone who is struggling with TTC, and for those of you that are in the delicate stages of early pregnancy. I’m praying for you all. I’ve seen so many posts lately with pregnancy announcements, and so many of you are making it to the second trimester and even anatomy scan with good news. I’m just overjoyed at how much God is moving in your lives! And I continue to pray for you all. Lots of love!!