That glorious word. The big milestone that blissfully innocent pregnant women probably don’t realize is a big deal. We’ve reached it.
You know how when something seems so far-fetched, so unreal, that you don’t ever picture it happening to you?
That’s how I felt around 16, 17 weeks. It felt like I was living someone else’s life. Not only was I pregnant, I was well past the first trimester and, to my amazement, still pregnant. With a healthy baby. I remember crying at my 12 week appt, when my doc found the baby’s heartbeat. We never made it to my 12 week appt with baby #1. The tears came and I couldn’t stop them!
Multiply that feeling times 10, upon reaching 20 weeks. What a milestone that is. I don’t think it sank in until about 21 weeks that I had crossed that threshold, and that my sweet baby boy actually had a good report at the 20 week anatomy scan.
Not that I don’t think good things can and do happen to me, it’s just that when you’ve never had a pregnancy reach that phase before (and especially if you’ve miscarried), your brain just can’t quite grasp the miracle God is growing inside you, the miracle that is really happening — in YOUR body. I mean, how in the world does He DO that?! A healthy baby, out of a little sperm and a little egg, just a few weeks ago. Unbelievably AWE-some.
And here we are, at 24 weeks. I’m throwing a little party in my head today, and I think I’ll get up and dance around. I’m just so elated. VIABILITY. 24 WEEKS. Wow. Gosh, now I’m going to start crying!
Some quick good news updates (mostly pregnancy, so skip if needed!):
- My sister is pregnant again! She texted me about 2 weeks ago wanting an opinion on the result of a home pregnancy test she just took. There was no mistaking it — there were definitely 2 lines. I had sent her a bunch of Amazon-bulk left over pregnancy tests a few days earlier, so she was busting at the seams to try them, it was perfect timing in her cycle actually. I thought it was so sweet of her to text ME. She wanted my opinion, so I knew before anyone, even her hubby. (I love that we will always have that moment!) She’s spotted a couple of times over the past couple of weeks, so I am continuing to pray for her. But she went for a blood test yesterday and she said the appt went well. Not sure if they did a beta test or were just checking her blood for iron, etc, but she goes back in a couple weeks for an ultrasound. All that is in me wants this ultrasound to go well. So we’re all praying and hoping everything looks good this time around. Her due date is probably around Thanksgiving.
- My sister-in-law is pregnant too! They have been quietly trying since November (J and I were the only ones that knew, and we have a big family). She thinks she had a chemical pregnancy in February, and the way she described it to me, I think she did too. She is 40 so I’m praying hard that this new pregnancy goes well. She went to her first appt yesterday and they heard a heartbeat! So far, so good. Due date is December 2nd. So within the same week as my sister! Wow.
- J’s cousins’ wives are pregnant: With one, I remember going to their wedding still in physical pain a month after my miscarriage last May…actually, I was 7 weeks pregnant at their wedding shower in March, too. Anyway, they got pregnant about a month after us, and announced it on Facebook at 5 weeks. 5 weeks! Of course, I was pregnant at the time but only 9 weeks along, so was keeping quiet. I was blown away by her complete disregard for (or maybe just ignorance of) what can happen, but I have to remind myself (often) that 1) miscarriage doesn’t happen to everyone apparently, 2) she is young (like 23 or something), and 3) there will always be people who announce at 5 weeks, on Facebook. I can’t control what others do. And I have to resist the urge to send them a message saying ARE YOU CRAZY?! The other is even younger (like 19!). They announced early too, and ~sigh~ their due date is November 4th. Yep, my first due date. Of all days!
And last but not least, my pregnancy update. 🙂 Just some quick tidbits: I’ve gained about 14 lbs., and my belly is protruding beyond my boobs now! We bought and assembled the crib a couple weeks ago, and started painting the nursery (the red you see in the pic is not the color, we’re painting grey over it). We’re going with a superhero theme. Lego superheroes, to be exact. 🙂 I’m feeling pretty good, other than some Braxton Hicks every now and then. That started around 21 weeks, and of course the first time it freaked me out. I had my first prenatal chiropractor appt right before it started, so I thought it was attributed to that! Then it happened again a few days to a week later, so I knew they probably weren’t related. Anyway, I have some lower back pain every now and then, but no hemmorhoids or heartbearn, or anything like that yet. I’m enjoying it while it lasts, this so-called “honeymoon” phase (whoever named it clearly has never been on a honeymoon). I had a lot of issues in the first 16 or so weeks (very uncomfortable bladder spasms, achy “period” pain, constipation, and other symptoms I have blocked out of my mind since), but they’ve calmed down over the last 8, with the exception of constipation of course. That seems to have been bad at the very beginning only to make a comeback now that my uterus is the size of a soccer ball. I first felt the baby kick around 16 weeks, but it wasn’t until 18 weeks that I knew it wasn’t gas! After that, I’ve felt him move pretty much everyday. He doesn’t really have a pattern yet, but I will say that his favorite time to play with me is around 10pm. I lay down in bed and it’s go time apparently! I just sit there with my hand on my belly and grin like an idiot. J thinks I’m cute, since I won’t take my hand off my belly, I keep it there for an hour every night. It’s just such a surreal, exhilarating feeling and I can’t help myself. I’m sure I would be just as enamored with this if I hadn’t ever miscarried, but my appreciation for it has magnified x100. This baby has made it this far. Wow.