I had just started a study of Psalms 23 before my miscarriage. It was a study that broke the chapter down, verse by verse. Interestingly enough, this was the last verse I studied before that day. God’s timing is so very perfect. THIS was the verse that kept coming to mind while I was in the ER – the entire 5 hours.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
The first part was very powerful at the time. This was surely the darkest valley I had experienced. I was very fearful, as I had been throughout my pregnancy of this very thing, but God was telling me not to fear. He washed over me with His peace.
J and I even found ourselves intensely laughing at something in the midst of it all. The nurse asked if there was anything else she could do for me, and I said no I’m fine. Not long after she left the room, I realized I was getting hungry. I giggled and said to J, “I should have told her to bring me a sandwich.” I snapped my fingers in the air and said to no-one, “Bring me a sandwich, do it, do it.” A reference from that ridiculous film Starsky & Hutch that J and I had watched together the week before. I even did the low, mafia-like voice that Ben Stiller did in the movie. J started laughing, and then I couldn’t contain my laughter. It was so stupid, but I guess we needed a release. It became a joke every time the nurse would leave the room. Now, that’s one of the main things I remember from our ER experience. That and this verse. Isn’t God good?
I felt God whispering the second part of that verse to me over and over again.
“I am with you.”
“I am your comfort.”
“I am your security.”
“Look to no-one or nothing else, no matter what happens. It is only My presence that can fully fulfill and comfort you. My presence–and my presence only–erases all fear.”
Just thought I’d share that. It’s something I haven’t forgotten, and I wanted to write it down so in the future I can look back and see how God spoke to me at the time. (One of the thousands of ways He spoke to me through all of this!)